Handling Employees

OPEN ON AN OFFICE BREAK ROOM. CHARLIE IS GETTING HIMSELF COFFEE. JASON ENTERS

JASON
Hey there, Charlie. How’s tricks?

CHARLIE
They’re trickin, boss!

BOTH LAUGH STIFFLY

JASON
So, I have to ask you to take on the Jensen case.

CHARLIE
What?! No!

JASON
Sorry, buddy. But you’re the only one who has the time

CHARLIE
(whining like a chile) But I don’t have the time! I don’t!

JASON
Calm down, now. You do

CHARLIE
(starts stamping his feet) NO! NO! NO!

JASON
Easy there. (puts his arm around him) Why don’t you come into my office and we’ll talk about it.

CHARLIE
(shake him off) I. Don’t. Want. To!

CHARLIE THROWS HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR AND STARTS WRITHING, CRYING AND WHINING. SARAH WALKS IN.

SARAH (to Jason, angry)
What did you do to him?

JASON
Nothing! I just told him he was on the Jenson case.

SARAH
You can’t just TELL him. You have to transition him.

JASON
But, what’s the big deal?

SARAH
God! You just don’t know how to handle these people, do you?

JASON
I don’t see why I have to “handle” adults.

SARAH
(sigh) They are not “grown adults”, Jason. They’re EMPLOYEES.

SARAH KNEELS DOWN TO TALK TO CRYING CHARLIE

SARAH
Charlie? Sweetie? Do you want to get up and come with Sarah?

CHARLIE
NO! I wanna stay here!

SARAH
If you come with me, I’ve got cookies in my office and I’ll share them with you.

CHARLIE
(sniff) Cookies?

SARAH
Mmm-hmmm. And apple juice.

CHARLIE
(excited) In a box?

SARAH
Yes, in a box. But Charlie?

CHARLIE
(starts to stand) Yeah?

SARAH
Before we have cookies and juice, I need you help me with something, okay?

CHARLIE
Okay.

SARAH
I need you to look at the Jensen file for me.

CHARLIE
Sure! Let’s go!

CHARLIE RUNS OUT OF THE BREAK ROOM. SARAH GIVES JASON A SMUG LOOK.

JASON
They’re a bunch of fuckin’ babies!

SARAH
You’re starting to get it.

END