The Mom Squad

Note: I really like this idea and want to revisit it. Right now I don't have the time to tighten it, but Sketch Month is about getting the idea down first.

MUSIC: Some sort of riff on “Shaq”
OPEN ON 3 MOMS WALKING TOWARDS CAMERA, VERY DETERMINED.

They have strength of a thousand parenting books.

The ability to give unsolicited advice in a single breath.

And the power of a lot..we’re talking A LOT of time on their hands.

They are…The Mom Squad.


CUT TO A CLASSROOM OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS. THE TEACHER, Mrs. Holt, IS IN FRONT OF THE CLASS HOLDING A PACK OF OREOS.

MRS. HOLT
Okay, class. Jack brought the snack today.

JACK
It’s cookies my mom got at the store!

CLASS
Yeah! Awesome! Cool!

TEACHER
Who wants some?

ALL THE KIDS RAISE THEIR HANDS. AS THE TEACHER STARTS TO HAND OUT COOKIES, THE MOM SQUAD BUSTS INTO THE CLASSROOM.

MRS. HOLT
Oh, I’m sorry. But parent visit day isn’t until next week.

MOM 1
We are not here to visit. We are…

ALL MOMS
The Mom Squad!

MOM 2
And those cookies are a weapon of destruction!

MOM 1:
Drop them, bitch!

MRS. HOLT
But they’re sweetened with apple juice!

MOM 3:
From a factory!

MOM 2:
You are sick, you know that?

MOM 1 PUTS MRS. HOLT IN A CHOKE HOLT.

MOM 2 WRESTS THE COOKIES FROM HER HANDS.

MOM 3 STARTS TAKING THE COOKIES AWAY FROM THE KIDS WHO HAVE THEM.

KIDS
Hey! That’s mine!

MOM 3:
There’s a kid here who’s already taken a bite!

MOM 1:
You know what to do!

MOM 3 STARTS DOING THE HYMLIC ON THE KID.

KID
Let me go!

MOM 1 DOES SOME SORT OF MOVE ON MRS HOLT SO SHE PASSES OUT.


MOM 2 GRABS A BASKET OF FRUIT KABOBS AND STARTS FURIOUSLY THROWING THEM AT THE KIDS.

MOM 3
Here you go kids! Homemade fruit kabobs!

THE KABOBS HIT THE KIDS.

KID
MY EYE!

MOM 1
Our work here is done, Moms. Let’s go.

THE MOM SQUAD LEAVES A ROOM OF CRYING KIDS AND A POSSIBLY DEAD TEACHER.

CUT TO A WOMAN ON A PARK BENCH. SHE IS ABOUT TO GIVE HER NEWBORN BABY A BOTTLE.

WOMAN
Here you go sweetie. A nice bottle of formula.

THE MOM SQUAD RUNS INTO THE SCENE.

MOM 1:
Stop that immediately!

WOMAN
Excuse me? I’m just feeding my child.


MOM 3
Why aren’t you breast feeding her?

ALL MOMS
Breast is best!

WOMAN
I tried breastfeeding…it, it didn’t work out. Wait! Why am I even explaining myself to you? It’s none of your business!

MOM 1 (to other moms)
Get the baby

THE OTHER MOMS GRAB THE BABY. THEY ALL TAKE OFF.

WOMAN
My baby! My baby!

CUT TO MOMS RUNNING WITH BABY. MUSIC CUES UP.

VO:

When you forget to put sunblock on your kid
When you let them have that extra cup of juice
Or forget to put a hat on them when it’s below 70 degrees….

They will be there. They are…

MOMS
The Mom Squad!