OPEN ON THE CONFERENCE ROOM AT BLUE NY, AN ADVERTISING AGENCY. JOHN, MELISSA, ANGIE, TERRY, MARK AND CARL SIT AROUND THE TABLE HAVING A CONFERENCE CALL.
CLIENT(FROM SPEAKERPHONE)
--So we love everything about the campaign, guys!
CAST
Great! Awesome! Excellent!
CLIENT
There’s just a few changes…actually heh-heh, we want to change everything.
EVERYONE LOOKS AT ONE ANOTHER IN DISBELIEF.
JOHN
Er, okay Ron. Where should we start?
CLIENT
First, the color blue in the logo. We think it’s a bit…bold.
JOHN
Ah-ha.
EVERYONE AROUND THE TABLE STARTS SHOOTING THE BIRD AT THE SPEAKER PHONE.
CLIENT
We’ve done research on blues, and what we found was that by adding just a little brightness, you can increase relatability by 65%. It was very interesting…(drones on)
JOHN HITS THE MUTE BUTTON
JOHN
Such bullshit!
ANGIE
John!
JOHN
They can’t hear us. I put ‘em on mute.
ANGIE
Realy? Well then..(stands up and yells into speaker phone) FUCK YOU you morons!
EVERYONE LAUGHS
TERRY
(imitating client) We’ve done research over here that confirms you’re 100% douche, Ron.
EVERYONE LAUGHS
MARK
Hey Ron? Nice face!
MARK HITS THE SIDE OF THE SPEAKER PHONE
EVERYONE
Ooooooh!
CARL
You liked that, you little bitch?
CARL TAKES THE SPEAKERPHONE AND SLAMS IT DOWN.
ANGIE
Oh we can do better than that.
SHE TAKES THE SPEAKER PHONE AND THROWS IT AGAINST THE WALL.
EVERYONE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM STARTS BEATING UP THE SPEAKER PHONE LIKE AN ANGRY MOB.
MELISSA AND TERRY HOLD IT DOWN WHILE JOHN PUNCHES IT.
CARL AND MARK PUSH THEM ASIDE AND START KICKING IT.
THEN CARL STARTS TO PISS ON IT.
MELISSA COMES FORTH WITH A NOOSE.
FINALLY, WE HEAR RON, THE CLIENT THROUGH THE PHONE.
RON
Guys! Guys! Are you still there? No one answered my question?
JOHN (composing himself)
Sorry there Ron. We were having a sidebar. What was the question?
RON
Can I have these changes by tomorrow?
THE TEAM LOOKS AT ONE ANOTHER FOR A MOMENT.
MELISSA
GET HIM!
THEY ALL RUSH THE SPEAKER PHONE AND HANG IT.
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